Dodie’s Fine! But “Not For Lack Of Trying”
Dorothy Miranda Clark, better known as dodie, has been making music and sharing it on the Internet since she was sixteen. To those in the known, dodie is essentially the prototype for the indie ukulele Internet darlings of 2017 and 2018 – Cavetown, Chloe Moriondo, mxmtoon, etc. With other artists now drawing inspiration from those artists, like Addison Grace and Madilyn Mei, dodie has essentially fostered two generations of Internet indie pop with her unique sound. But this key part of dodie’s discography is not what you’ll find on her newest album, Not For Lack Of Trying.
Press image for dodie’s newest album Not For Lack Of Trying.
Instead, Not For Lack Of Trying features eerie instrumentation that is sonically hollow through its use of reverb, strings, and repetitive acoustic guitar. While dodie is not new to fuller production, Not For Lack Of Trying still represents a shift away from the early ukulele days from her discography, and even middle ground like her most recent EPs Hot Mess (2022) and Build A Problem (2021).
Not For Lack Of Trying’s first track, “I’M FINE!,” immediately throws listeners into the circular acoustic guitar that features on many of the album’s tracks. Its simple beginning, just acoustic guitar and dodie, builds further and further over the course of the song, first with more voices joining alongside dodie, and eventually drums, strings, and piano. As its title suggests, “I’M FINE!” proves that dodie isn’t doing so well! Mental health is a core theme of Not For Lack Of Trying, allowing “I’M FINE!’s” strategic placement at the beginning of the album to act as a guide post for listeners. In her own words, dodie has one more year to figure her life out. After all, once a woman turns twenty-nine, they’re twenty-nine forever. As she tries to convince her audience she’s feeling fine, dodie repeats the phrase over and over again, almost as though she’s trying to convince herself rather than her listeners. She begins to scream the phrase during an ambient roar of instrumentation right before the track’s bridge, a moment of pure exhaustion and frustration bubbling out of her mouth and into a recording. In conversation with Dork, dodie explained:
“‘I’m Fine’ is an unconvincing exclaim. Sarcastic and hollow, this song is a mental battle that balances between panic and relief, before tumbling into something overwhelming.”
This quote is a perfect summary of the track – dodie’s extended exclamation of “I’M FINE!” before the bridge acting as the tumbling waterfall she describes.
“Smart Girl” continues the trend of sparse beginnings on Not For Lack Of Trying. Notably, the track features only verses, building upward, with its third adding further voices and harmony. It has a similar structure to “I’M FINE!” but is much more lowkey in terms of production. The exception is a raucous explosion of noise before the fifth verse, which also shifts into more jazzy vocals and instrumentation. Adding this wall of sound before the fifth verse highlights its first line: “Do you think I’m crazy?” It’s an impeccable way to introduce another one of Not For Lack of Trying’s themes to the foreground. dodie is constantly evaluating how she is perceived across the album, whether it’s how her words come across to friends, how people perceive her when she isn’t around, and to an extent, even how she looks. This isn’t the only fun lyrical highlight on “Smart Girl” with the line “I could be psychotic” at the end of the sixth verse punctuated with strings reminiscent of the iconic score to Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho.
But if two songs back to back with somewhat heavy themes are a bit too heavy for you, not to worry! The third track on Not For Lack Of Trying will put some pep in your step as dodie lovingly sings about her cat, Mrs. “Darling, Angel, Baby” will instantly put a smile on any pet parent’s face, with its constant barrage of nicknames. dodie musically coos at her cat alongside Greta Isaac, a close friend of dodie’s and fellow bandmate in FIZZ.“Darling, Angel, Baby” notably has a faster beginning than the more mellow yet building songs on Not For Lack Of Trying, which may have led to dodie’s decision to make it a single for the album. “I’M FINE!” was technically also a single for the album, though it was released as a single prior to the album’s announcement. Overall, “Darling, Angel, Baby” is an adorable track that may influence you to give your cat edamame.
“Hold Fire” might not be the most explosive track on Not For Lack Of Trying, but it’s arguably the most pivotal. Like other tracks on the album, “Hold Fire” starts off slow before building into a layer cake of sound. But rather than opening with repetitive fingered chords on acoustic guitar, “Hold Fire” begins with a thumping bass line that remains steady throughout the entire track. The percussion on the track also adds to its pseudo-indie rock edge, still remaining in the comfort zone that Not For Lack Of Trying has established while thrumming with an anxious energy. It’s a perfect setting for the track’s lyrics, which are the perfect medium to use as a sound board for several tracks on Not For Lack Of Trying. Where “I’M FINE!” and “Smart Girl” establish both dodie’s current mental state and her self consciousness, “Hold Fire” takes these ideas and ties them to her attention seeking behavior. The second verse is the most blatant with its word choice with the lines: “Not that you asked, I have this quirk/I find it tricky as a Pick-Me to just leave all my work/And be appropriate/Then you won’t wanna talk about it/And I don’t know if that could ever be me.” The use of the term “Pick-Me” really highlights the behavior dodie exhibits throughout “Hold Fire,” with this theme of unintentionally crossing boundaries and a need for attention popping up through later tracks on the album. It seems that the fire dodie is holding throughout the song is her tongue, drawing “Lines in the sand,” though she never quite understands why they exist or if she’s accidentally crossed them. Additionally, “Hold Fire” continues a pattern of cool production details across Not For Lack Of Trying. On the second pre-chorus, on the aforementioned lyric “Lines in the sand, don’t understand,” a click, almost like a shotgun aiming to fire, breaks up the lyric. It’s a tiny moment, but the kind of small detail that occurs once in a song that listeners will definitely be anticipating when returning to the track.
“Tall Kids” and “Now” act as the bread in an “I Feel Bad For You, Dave” sandwich. Both “Tall Kids” and “Now” are acoustic ballads, though the latter is much lighter and less anxious than the former, largely in part because its subject material is not as frenetic. “Tall Kids” seems like a traditional dodie ballad on paper, with a bit more intense production if anything. But “Tall Kids” is yet another track highlighting dodie’s need for validation, acting as the first track to bounce off of “Hold Fire’s” sound board. Rather than returning to how dodie exhibits this behavior as an adult, an adolescent dodie yearns to be with the “tall kids”, promising that “[she] will make it worth [their] while.” In contrast, “Now,” which features similar production to “Tall Kids,” is a reassuring ballad from dodie to a partner. The world may fall to pieces and bad things may come, but for “Now,” dodie and her partner are safe. There’s one other song on Not For Lack Of Trying that shares this same reassuring message, but “Now” ultimately stands out because of its message.
But the filling of this acoustic sandwich is the brash bossa nova track “I Feel Bad For You, Dave.” Not only was “Dave” a single for Not For Lack Of Trying, it also acted as the announcement of the album. Immediately, listeners can tell that “Dave” is different from its predecessors. “Hold Fire” may have distinguished itself by beginning with bass, but “Dave’s” introductory bassline is accompanied by a drum kit and a count-in from dodie. The lyrics also center on a character, the titular Dave0799, rather than coming from dodie’s perspective. While dodie is obviously making fun of Dave, with lines like “Dave is the kind of guy to lose a friend over a board game he doesn’t get/Stubs his toe, lets everyone know that he can do a push-up/Then he’ll do a push-up,” it’s clear that Dave’s behavior ultimately comes from a place of insecurity and self consciousness. Once again, this specific theme pops back up on Not For Lack Of Trying, this time presented in a much less sympathetic light. dodie’s sympathetic crooning on the chorus – “Dave, I feel bad for you/Dave, don’t you know it could be better” – does not read only as condescension, but also like someone who has come out on the other side of such attention seeking behavior if taken in the context of the album as a whole. Of course, Dave0799 is meant to be perceived as an asshole, as the lyrics themselves inform listeners. But there is a nugget of depth to Dave as a character despite his personality. dodie says herself about the track, in the aforementioned Dork article:
“[It’s] a song about the ego of people who feel as though they lack power, so try to gain it in ways that ironically have the opposite effect. We all know a Dave!”
She’s right, we do all know a “Dave”. Some are worse than others, but they are all definitely insecure in some capacity and gloriously overcompensating for it. While dodie is certainly not as brash as Dave0799, listeners should feel guilty for also feeling somewhat sympathetic for him after listening to the preceding tracks on Not For Lack Of Trying.
After the other slice of bread in the “Dave” sandwich, “Now,” is one of Not For Lack Of Trying’s best songs. Like “Smart Girl,” “The List” is composed mostly of verses, though there are two choruses in the track. Each verse is dedicated to a new lover on dodie’s roster, including the heartache that brought them together and the heartache that drives them apart. Rather than directly critiquing herself this time, dodie asks if her former partner, who drove her to this behavior, is also engaging in intimacy as a coping mechanism. “Do you cast a net as wide as I?/Do you keep a list for a lonely mind?/And does it feel even colder to hold her/When you miss me?” It’s another beautiful act of storytelling on dodie’s part. Though the other characters flit in and out verse by verse, each relationship has its own issues, whether they stem from dodie or from the highlighted partner in the verse. Instrumentally, “The List” feels almost like a lullaby. Its piano score, eventually emotionally charged further by strings towards the back half of the track, rocks listeners back and forth. This instrumentation further highlights the song’s chorus in which dodie admits “Brag and boast, as I might/I still sleep alone every night.” Combining this admission with the instrumentation makes “The List” feel like dodie sings the song to herself to try and sleep, a self soothing lullaby to overcome heartbreak.
“Different” begins with a barely there piano. While it’s a beautiful song, it’s unfortunately overwhelmed by its predecessor and the songs that follow it. dodie directly references waking up “the morning after,” tying the song with “The List.” Rather than aching for a past love, dodie refutes this partner entirely saying, “Oh, I wouldn’t choose you/Out of a thousand/God help the girl who gets you.” Yet, dodie once again blames herself, questioning if she has crossed boundaries or misspoken, tying “Different” to yet another track – “Hold Fire.” Time and time again, “Hold Fire” feels like a perfect point of reference for songs on Not For Lack Of Trying. Not only does “Different” stick to this theme as dodie questions herself, but by mentioning the physical appearance of dodie’s ex-lover – “God, you really look different/Did I do something wrong?” dodie acts both self conscious, but also judges someone else’s appearance, similarly to how she was condescending to Dave0799. “Different” may not be the most unique track in the world, but the way it weaves story beats from Not For Lack Of Trying makes it earn its spot on the album.
“The End” and “The Answer” are inherently paired. The former is an unassuming, but grandiose track that spans five minutes. All of the themes mentioned thus far on the album are featured in the lyrics of “The End.” dodie is certain that she has gone too far, death is on its way. Her friends will abandon her, her partner will leave, she crossed yet another line, she will screw up in some form, and that will be the end of it all. Despite this dark messaging, “The End” maintains the more acoustic instrumentation of Not For Lack Of Trying. The vocals and instrumentation don’t roar at the end, like on other tracks. Rather, vocals overlap, practically incomprehensible, as dodie cries “My brain is the biggest thing I know/This feels too big for it to hold/Oh, if this is the end, I don’t want it/I will fight with every breath till there’s nothing left.” It’s an astounding way to end the track, giving it the glory it deserves. Throughout the days leading up to the release of Not For Lack Of Trying, dodie highlighted “The End” on her Instagram with a quick preview. The caption of the Instagram Reel read:
“Anyway this one is called The End about when a breakup is so big it feels like a death 💀”
US and Canadian dates for dodie’s tour for Not For Lack Of Trying
Following the classic short form video “POV” trend, fans gained more insight on the song with the text on the Reel – “pov you’re in the biggest breakup of your life and you just can’t do it.” The dodie featured on “The End” may feel as though she cannot do anything, but the dodie singing on “The Answer” clearly disagrees. Not only do the lyrics feature a more nonchalant hopeful tone in key ways, the instrumentation reflects this shift in philosophy. Latin flair pops up in the instrumentation again in “The Answer’s” use of snaps, shakers, and muted acoustic guitar. The faster tempo of the track acts as a perfect contrast to not just “The End,” but the album as a whole. Though “The Answer” cannot truly be lyrically linked to “I Feel Bad For You, Dave,” the instrumentation between the two tracks makes them feel like siblings in a way. In fairness, dodie does not have a perfect answer for the depression she’s been feeling. “Yeah, I think the answer/It looks like a horseshoe/So dig your own grave and/There’s sun on the other side/And all of your vices/Are all of your spices/All good things end again and again.” Even as dodie attempts to look at the sunny side of life, she draws a bit of realism that could be coming from a bit of hopelessness. Ultimately, it is an incredible reminder that there is always an answer to the sadness that we feel. There is always a reason to stay, even if everything seems god awful, you can pick a penny off the ground, put an orange in your lunchbox, or do any of the other tricks dodie mentions. Out of its verses, the second verse on “The Answer” feels like its most honest. “I think I was trying too hard/I think I was frying on lard/I think I’ll be doing the same damn thing I do every year/Disappoint, reappoint, souvenir,” dodie ponders. Though this may be the case, dodie is also trying her best to live. She has found an answer, though it might not be the one. Baby steps.
The final track of Not For Lack Of Trying is its titular one. Like “The Answer," dodie leaves her listeners to a bittersweet answer about the state of her mental health. She lists all of the ways she is trying to improve: “I'm supplement taking, I'm smart and engaging/I'm lying for someone to say I had fun/Lend me joy, I can't see mine/But not, for lack, of trying.” Progress is never linear. These are the aforementioned baby steps that dodie is slowly, but surely, taking. “Not For Lack Of Trying” is a slow track, much like opener “I’M FINE!” But where “I’M FINE!” showcases the most violent and frazzled aspects of dodie’s mental health like on lines such as “Any moment carried by the panic in a rugby pile,” “Not For Lack Of Trying” decides to highlight the more lethargic moments in dodie’s life. She is bored and lonesome. But she is trying.
This new sound from dodie feels like a true evolution from her early days of indie pop. While fuller production is not new for her, this eerie and haunting take on mental health suits her soft spoken vocals. Layering harmonies, strings, guitar, and piano, lead to cacophonous moments on tracks that still somehow harmonize. Not For Lack Of Trying is a sonic rendition of dodie’s mental health, with which listeners will likely empathize. Not every single track on the album will stand out to listeners, as a large majority of tracks build in the same way despite stellar instrumentation and production. Ultimately, the lyrics are the superstar of Not For Lack Of Trying, and will determine which songs end up on your playlist.
dodie will begin the European and UK leg of her tour for Not For Lack Of Trying on October 30 in Amsterdam, with US and Canadian dates beginning in Nashville on February 20.
